The Kardashian Kurse

Kan we just forget about them yet?!

While browsing Pinterest the other day, I kept running into these blackholes. Literally, it was like a whole patch of my newsfeed…. EVERYTHING KARDASHIAN. Seriously, so much Kim, Kanye, Kris, Kendall, Kourtney — you know the rest?!

I instantly found myself looking at hundreds and hundreds of memes, quotes, photos from magazines (I’ll be honest, Kourtney has some KILLER style sense!!). It’s like a love-hate relationship with that family, am I right? They are easily the family I love to hate on most. *Haters – here is your perfect time to blame it all on my jealousy!! I mean, c’mon, Kim worked hard to get famous — ;)*12071771_10156603427820564_1733433152_n

I have always loved Kourtney and Khloe – and sure they are sometimes hilarious and dysfunctional and fun to watch – but that’s not what I want filling my daughter’s head. I don’t want her to see these girls and think that beauty means thousands of dollars of surgery, weekly lip injections, waist training until your ribs break, and pounds and pounds of makeup.

I know, I know – HOW could I hate on America’s Royal Family?! Here is plenty of reasons why you (and your daughters, sisters, cousins, friends) should idolize these talent-filled, do-gooders: (Have you caught onto my sarcasm yet?…)

  1. Every girl dreams of posing nude for playboy. And every mom dreams of being there to snap your own personal photos of your naked daughter, legs-sprawled, while she is posing nude for Playboy. Ah – the American Dream.anigif_enhanced-30911-1440584834-2
  2. If ever you get arrested, you should always know that you have one phone call to make from jail. And everyone should take cue from Kanye here. (He’s Kardashian by marriage, that lucky asshat.)12825206_10156603427865564_401783083_n
  3. Everybody wants to share their sexual history with their mother. And it’s only fair that she reciprocates and shares hers with you!71cd96777aac3542e10b2e31c87d2b2d
  4. They clearly respect each other.12804143_10156603427710564_1205387829_n
  5. And support each other the way I can only hope my children will do for each other.55616e1a0922a82bab0ce30ad7aba209
  6. And defend each other.377a00eec6b755a0e6a9697c93cd30be
  7. Lets not forget how much respect they have for their mom.anigif_enhanced-16132-1440587399-5
  8. Seriously.anigif_enhanced-14833-1440760019-2
  9. Which is fair – because she deserves it.anigif_enhanced-3976-1440586498-2
  10. They are very open-minded.54679d41522534712357d7a6d3770c20
  11. They truly embrace the sanctity of marriage.12804083_10156603479660564_1840414986_n
  12. They appreciate the little things in life.4ee58c0973248f06a0c2182544610a91
  13. Especially when those “little things” are earrings that cost as much as a house. (I mean, who takes off $78,000 earrings before they swim in the ocean?)anigif_enhanced-25609-1440604026-6
  14. They are full of class.12825614_10156603427930564_730766974_n
  15. Speaking of class — I want my daughter to admire their wardrobe, or lack there of.46cb256f3a5b92e62d76b41db119a7cb

 

….Yeah – I think we’ll steer clear from the Kardashians in our household.

233d04f6e7e467c86c66b9201a3b1099We feel ya, Bruce.

XOXO, Shelby

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