Obviously, he did it for the cupcakes… (Aren’t I an awesome wife?!)
No, but seriously. Let me start this off by saying: We love our children.
We have two beautiful babes – a four and a half year old daughter and a fifteen month old son. They are our pride and joy and we love being parents. There is not a better job in the world than being a mom. Part of that is due to the fact that my husband is the World’s Best Daddy. We did not jump to this surgery because we are in over our head or don’t want anymore kids. We do. We want more kids – just not biological. [Nothing against our DNA – we have some good genes ;).]
My husband had a vasectomy earlier this week and we are both happy about it. He is 25, I am 24. No — we aren’t going to change our minds. No — we won’t regret this. Yes — we thought this out, for fifteen months. We have a plan for our future and for our babies’ futures.
We want to adopt. We have a dream of adopting more babies into our family. Sean adopted our daughter when we got married. She had referred to him as “Daddy Sawn” since she was 18 months old and loved him as her own father (biological sperm donor was not in the picture, and Sean stepped up to the plate in every way). Before that, adoption didn’t play too big of a part in my life. (You want to ask me about step-, half-, or biological siblings though, I got ya covered!) Sean saved our family and made us whole when he adopted our daughter. Together, we had a son six months later, but if you didn’t know our story, you could never tell the difference between his bond with our kids. They are both HIS children. He loves them BOTH the same.
I don’t want to be pregnant again. I am not a woman who took my pregnancies for granted. I cherished every single moment of them, even the really hard stuff. My body is capable of some pretty amazing things and I am lucky enough to have had two healthy pregnancies that gave me two beautiful babies. (Lets be clear; LABOR is a totally different story!!) After we had my son though, I had some complications and our son ended up in the NICU. It was the scariest experience we have ever faced. We are lucky enough to have had two healthy babies, and after having our son, we decided then and there that we didn’t need to have anymore.
We have a plan. Every couple, every family, every individual person has their own vision for their life. Sure, visions may change every once in awhile and we may end up somewhere totally opposite from where we thought we would. Our plan includes our two children – and no more biological babes. It might not be right for others, and it might be against some people’s beliefs, but this is our plan.
We thought for a long time about this procedure. We researched. We planned. Finally, we bit the bullet and made the appointment. The few weeks leading up to it, I went to bed every night and asked myself, “Are you sure? Will you change your mind in five years and catch the Baby Fever bug and want another gremlin?” But each night my answers were the same. “I want this.” There seems to be a taboo around the word, vasectomy. We aren’t irresponsible people who don’t want to be parents or resent our life up to this point. This is simply a minor part of our big plan. We all add to our families, or don’t, in our own ways. Whether you choose to never have children, to have one or ten, or to adopt. We are choosing to adopt now.
I love my children, and I love being a mom. My biological incubator may be shut down, but this world hasn’t seen the last of the Shafer Babies yet!